New York Sports Are Going Through Something…Well, Comical

As the great George Carlin used to say….these are the thoughts running through my head when I’m home alone and the lights go out…

I’ve enjoyed watching the Lebron James attrition tour this season. Is everyone aware he’s the same age as Andre Iguodala? Why would any free agent want to go play with him in L.A. for his age 36 and 37 seasons? The minute Paul George decided not to come to LA the Lakers should have told Lebron thanks but no thanks and stuck with the kids and Luke Walton. The next 2 years are going to be a glorious dumpster fire for all the Lebron and Laker haters…you know..decent human beings.

Another quick NBA thought I haven’t seen anywhere yet. If KD comes to NY as many seem to think, Golden State is sure to resign Klay Thompson. The following season Draymond Green and Iguodala come off the books. If Anthony Davis is smart he would refuse to resign with anyone he’s traded to next year and see if Golden State comes with a max offer. Steph would be going into his age 32 season and Klay 30 with AD 27, wouldn’t that be the most Golden Statesy move to make?

The Phillies have to be feeling great giving 13 years and $330 million dollars to an empty-headed poodle like Bryce Harper who immediately tripped over his own dick and talked about bringing a title back to DC. I’ve seen that once before in a press conference… the opening montage of BaseKetball (an underrated classic movie).  At least he’s hit 30 Homer’s twice in seven seasons and batted .300 twice as well…once he even did both in the same year. Good thing Philly fans are intelligent rational people.

The Giants have the 6th pick in this year’s draft and honestly, I hope they take an offensive lineman just to see fans reactions. I think that would finally break the fanbase. Giants fans keep hoping for a Quarterback, remembering how great it was when they took Eli Manning and waiting for the team to deliver again and instead they keep getting Eli Apple and Ereck Flowers (Even our Lord and savior Saquon being selected pissed off half the fanbase at the time.) Giants fans have turned into Weezer fans waiting for the next Pinkerton while the Giants keep giving us the NFL equivalent of Hurley.

The Jets are going to sign Leveon Bell because that’s what the Jets do. They should make him wear a Ladanian Tomlinson throwback Jets Jersey at the press conference. Everything the Jets do is another step on their path to ruin. Sam Darnold and his forehead had that fantastic game to start the season against Detroit and he spent the rest of the year winging spirals to the other team and their best defensive player openly talked about how sick of losing he was. Bringing in an expensive running back whose career is at the top of the hill before he starts accelerating down the other side and hiring a coach who thought Jay Cutler was the solution to his QB issues is pretty on brand for the Jets.

Troy Tulowitzki and Greg Bird have looked great so far in Spring training but I still keep picturing Jacoby Ellsbury sitting at a table at the Cheesecake Factory telling a waiter he’s not quite ready to order yet, his friends will be there soon. I hope I’m wrong and both stay healthy and productive but I’ve been burned before by Bird as a fan, and Tulo has murdered me and so many others in fantasy baseball that he should have to wear a mask like Hannibal Lecter when he comes up to bat. Quid pro quo Clarice.

Do the Mets still play in MLB or were they kicked out as they do with shitty soccer teams so someone else can be in the league. If not could we try that this year? Boot the Mets and put the Roanoke River Rats in the NL East? Maybe Manny Machado could toil away his career in front of no one there instead of San Diego.

Finally, I wanna call out a writer who has disappointed me so much the last week. If I see the “He’s been going off the rails” quote about Robert Kraft from Bill Simmons one more time I’m going to be sick. It’s one thing to be a passionate fan of a team, it’s another to make excuses for despicable behavior and to try to downplay it.

Robert Kraft is a billionaire, I’m sure there were ways for him to get whatever he was trying to get from his spa debacle without taking advantage of women who were essentially held captive. Just because it’s a misdemeanor and he will probably get out of it criminally doesn’t make it any less reprehensible. Blaming the media for making it a “bigger deal” then it should be is also garbage. The owner of the NFL champions solicited sex acts from a victim of human trafficking the morning of the AFC title game….seems like a pretty big story to me. You would have hoped for better than this from Simmons…..oh well Go Sawx amirite?

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